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Does Religiously Unaffiliated Also Mean Spiritually Unsupported?

As part of the Vennly team’s search to better understand how people express their spirituality, we found ourselves facing some interesting questions. We started to wonder about the impacts of feeling spiritually engaged, but not expressing it by identifying with organized religion. Personally, I started to think more about what it meant to identify as spiritual but not religious (SBNR).

I wondered if I was missing out. Was I missing out on opportunities to volunteer? To give back and be a better ally for those who need support? Was I cutting myself off from the support and wisdom of leaders in my community? Would I be better equipped to face life’s challenges with a greater sense of community behind me?

I didn’t know for sure, but at a minimum it seemed like my friends who are also SBNR didn’t know where to turn when facing big questions or challenges in life. Sure, there’s family and friends, and that super inspirational instructor from spin class always had an encouraging word…but something felt missing.

I dug into proprietary research Vennly conducted to better understand how people seek guidance and support along religious and spiritual lines. Our research backed up what I was hearing from friends and family, that us SBNRs have less access to support. We found that less than 28% of SBNRs feel that it’s easy to find support and guidance when facing big life decisions, compared to nearly 40% of religious people.

Our research also found that people that identify as either religious, or spiritual and religious, are nearly 60% more likely to have a personal relationship with a religious or spiritual leader – including life coaches, yoga instructors, and the like – than people who identify as SBNR. Overall, the research seems to indicate that it’s harder for SBNR people to find meaningful spiritual support and guidance than it is for their religious peers.

For me, the beauty of being SBNR was that I could choose my own adventure, spiritually. It was like the RL Stine books I grew up on – instead of one, strict path, I could explore and try different ones. Dope, right? I could draw on elements of Taoism and Judaism one day, then Humanism and Islam the next. But as I grew older, and the challenges that I faced in life grew as well, that “something missing” kept creeping up. Choosing my own adventure didn’t help me cope with losing my mom to a tough battle with cancer just after my 27th birthday. It didn’t help me resolve conflicts between once-inseparable friends. And it didn’t help me find purpose in my career.

So the findings of our research jived with how I felt personally. But as I reviewed the data that confirmed my feelings, I was a little down. Even if there was something missing for us SBNRs, there had to be a way to fill that void. There had to be a way to ensure that I was as spiritually healthy as possible while still doing it in a way that’s authentic to me.

This is a big reason why we’re building Vennly. To help fill that gap and create a platform that can help provide some of the support, guidance, and wisdom that at times can feel missing. To ensure there’s a safe, inclusive space for people to turn to when seeking perspective on their challenges, big and small. And to provide that experience wherever you are, whenever you need it. There’s still work ahead to make this goal a reality, but we at Vennly are determined to make it happen. And we couldn’t be more grateful for your support along this journey.

With gratitude,

Dan

What does it mean to be spiritual?

One of the most interesting questions we’ve tried to answer since starting Vennly is how to clearly and succinctly define “spirituality”. Formal definitions of “spiritual” tend to be connected to sacred, ecclesiastical, and religious matters, yet in contemporary culture, the word is being used quite differently (you’ve seen those “Spiritual Gangster” shirts, right?).

Of course, for many, spirituality and religion go hand in hand. But it’s also true that more and more Americans are defining themselves as “spiritual but not religious”. With religion, there are markers of observance. Do you attend religious services at a place of worship? Do you pray? Are there dietary restrictions that you observe? But spirituality doesn’t have universal markers in the same way.

To better understand what it means to be spiritual, we conducted a survey on the topic. Overwhelmingly we heard that spirituality is a highly personal and individualized experience, to be defined for oneself. From there, we began to think about, “How do you become spiritual?”

For Rabbi Joshua Stanton, a Vennly contributor, becoming spiritual requires a willingness to be curious about yourself and the world around you. “People should first examine for themselves why they want to explore their spirituality. Usually, the underlying motivation itself yields a meaningful path to pursue.”

For me, a negative professional experience helped to provide clarity on what I really wanted out of my career and forced me to look inward and take stock of my spiritual health. But as Rabbi Stanton notes, arriving at this realization was a gradual process and it required that I be introspective in a way I hadn’t done in the past in my professional life.

Vennly contributor Rev. Malik Hokyu Walker, a Zen Buddhist monk, tells us that “spirituality requires a certain self-discipline associated with the ongoing practice of self-knowledge and cultivating intuitive wisdom. In other words, spirituality involves a conscious choice to pursue a path, no matter how varied or unclear it may be.”

So whether you’ve chosen a path or want to take steps to begin to explore your spirituality, there are a few things that Vennly contributor Reverend Doctor Chris Davies wants you to consider: “Draw from what draws you…Lean into the edge between what you know you know, and what makes you a touch uncomfortable. Discomfort is where the learning lives.”

As we’ve set out to build Vennly, I’ve found that the advice from Rabbi Stanton, Reverend Malik Hokyu Walker, and Reverend Davies has been prescient and in so many ways, symbiotic even though they bring a different spiritual backgrounds and perspectives to bear. For me, creating Vennly has been a spiritual experience — one that has required me to get comfortable with being uncomfortable and channel that emotion into learning and productivity.

Ultimately, whether you consider yourself to be religious, spiritual, both, or nothing at all, our hope is that our amazing network of Vennly contributors will help you take a step back, think, and reflect in a way you haven’t before. They have already done this for me and we hope they can serve as a powerful source of wisdom, guidance, and perspective for you too.

With gratitude,

Brian

Do I Look Like a “None” to You? Seeking spirituality in the age of the religiously unaffiliated

What does spirituality mean to you? It’s a question we’ve been thinking a lot about since we began our work on Vennly, an audio-focused spiritual health app that aims to create a safe space for users to seek inspiration and guidance from spiritual and community leaders on a variety of life topics.

Like millions of young adults across the U.S., we had not formally engaged with a place of worship, or its leadership, in a really long time. According to Pew Research, we were a part of a growing cohort – the “nones” – the 35% of American Millennials who consider themselves to be unaffiliated religiously. With our new label now in hand, we realized that “none” really didn’t describe us at all. Just because we’re unaffiliated did not mean we didn’t still crave perspective, guidance, and wisdom. Discussions among our friends, many of whom had grown up with exposure to multiple cultures, traditions, and orientations – and who now found themselves in interfaith relationships, multicultural relationships, or non-normative relationships – revealed that a better word for us is the “multis.” Formal and consistent participation in a congregation wasn’t right for us for many different reasons. But as we experienced critical moments in our lives, such as marriage, parenting, dealing with the loss of a loved one, divorce, non-fulfilling jobs, it became clear that we still needed help making sense of the world around us.  

Our conversations with faith leaders only further confirmed the “spirituality gap.”  As congregants age out or simply don’t show up, too many places of worship are struggling to keep the lights on. Yet, one of the most illuminating insights for us since we started Vennly is that, according to our spiritual leaders, they have done more pastoral counseling in the past 18 months than they have over their career due to the unrelenting news cycle and political climate. So while many congregations fight to keep the lights on, our spiritual leaders’ wisdom and guidance have never been in more demand.

Later this year, we will be launching the Vennly app, which brings together some of the most dynamic spiritual and community leaders across traditions and backgrounds in a vetted and safe environment. As paradigms that have been truths for centuries are changing right in front of us, we understand that the world of spirituality is evolving too.  However you choose to define your spirituality, our mission is simply to provide wisdom and guidance to those who are seeking, in an inclusive and judgment-free way.

The name Vennly is inspired by the Venn diagram, and it represents different perspectives coming together in one place. Our members will be able to follow spiritual leaders or search by topic area, and our audio based “Perspectives” will focus on actionable, universal themes.

Our promise to you is to be thoughtful, intentional, and purposeful in the content and product that we create and to stay committed to the tenet that we are better together.  

All are welcome.

With gratitude,

Brian and Dan